Red Mosquito

Ms Harmless wrote:Something Special, or, "Please Call Me Daughter"

Ms Harmless wrote:
one thing I've been doing for years is referring to Pearl Jam as "my Grunge dads" as a joke; they have no idea who I am, but they've been speaking to me, shaping my morality, my politics, my talents, my tastes, and my choices during some of the best and worst times of my life, *all* of my life

Monkey_Driven wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:
one thing I've been doing for years is referring to Pearl Jam as "my Grunge dads" as a joke; they have no idea who I am, but they've been speaking to me, shaping my morality, my politics, my talents, my tastes, and my choices during some of the best and worst times of my life, *all* of my life

I think a lot of us here can relate to this. Thanks for posting your experience with the song.

Ms Harmless wrote:OK so...

in the run up to Dark Matter, when we first saw the track list and started hearing stories and background on the songs, I was sure that it was going to be "Waiting For Stevie" -- about a woman (according to Ed) at a concert, who has always been able to escape her pain through music -- that captured me emotionally, hook line and sinker, as someone who has been with this band all of my music-listening life (I was 9 in 1991), and grown to realise I was a woman; but I was wrong

turns out that WFS doesn't go into all that potential depth, it's a bit vaguer, which is fine

since we heard the metal door and official clips of "Something Special", I knew this would be a song I could get behind and on the favourable end of the "schmaltzy songs about Ed's family" spectrum, but I didn't expect a song about *Ed's own daughters* to be the one that hit me in that deep way; I just expected it to be cute, in a good way

that is until yesterday, when I started listening and singing along, and I began crying; I knew immediately why

over the last 10 years I've had a bit of a rocky time with my family, and my parents, accepting me fully as a trans woman, a sister, and a daughter; without going too far into that and making myself completely vulnerable, I don’t expect ever to hear my parents call me their daughter without some hesitation; I've accepted that, come to terms, what have you, and learned to take the good of our relationship while we're all still around; but, suddenly listening to this song from a doting father speaking wisdom / prayer / prophecy of protection almost, over his daughter, it suddenly moved me to tears knowing that I had never experienced that in my past, but that right here, in this moment, I was experiencing a version of that right now, because Ed has always been there and his lyrics were crucial to my development, and here he was, letting me "fly the nest", and saying "before you go, here is a little emotional closure that you maybe didn't even know you needed"

one thing I've been doing for years is referring to Pearl Jam as "my Grunge dads" as a joke; they have no idea who I am, but they've been speaking to me, shaping my morality, my politics, my talents, my tastes, and my choices during some of the best and worst times of my life, *all* of my life

and in that moment, the realisation that Ed, the same force that once scrawled "PRO-CHOICE" on his arm when I was a wide-eyed kid with no idea that some choices would even be possible for me, was still here, and telling me "out of everyone, you're not just anyone; you're the one and only you... we've done all we can do"

and after I was done crying, there was a contentment that washed over me about that

Ms Harmless wrote:OK so...

in the run up to Dark Matter, when we first saw the track list and started hearing stories and background on the songs, I was sure that it was going to be "Waiting For Stevie" -- about a woman (according to Ed) at a concert, who has always been able to escape her pain through music -- that captured me emotionally, hook line and sinker, as someone who has been with this band all of my music-listening life (I was 9 in 1991), and grown to realise I was a woman; but I was wrong

turns out that WFS doesn't go into all that potential depth, it's a bit vaguer, which is fine

since we heard the metal door and official clips of "Something Special", I knew this would be a song I could get behind and on the favourable end of the "schmaltzy songs about Ed's family" spectrum, but I didn't expect a song about *Ed's own daughters* to be the one that hit me in that deep way; I just expected it to be cute, in a good way

that is until yesterday, when I started listening and singing along, and I began crying; I knew immediately why

over the last 10 years I've had a bit of a rocky time with my family, and my parents, accepting me fully as a trans woman, a sister, and a daughter; without going too far into that and making myself completely vulnerable, I don’t expect ever to hear my parents call me their daughter without some hesitation; I've accepted that, come to terms, what have you, and learned to take the good of our relationship while we're all still around; but, suddenly listening to this song from a doting father speaking wisdom / prayer / prophecy of protection almost, over his daughter, it suddenly moved me to tears knowing that I had never experienced that in my past, but that right here, in this moment, I was experiencing a version of that right now, because Ed has always been there and his lyrics were crucial to my development, and here he was, letting me "fly the nest", and saying "before you go, here is a little emotional closure that you maybe didn't even know you needed"

one thing I've been doing for years is referring to Pearl Jam as "my Grunge dads" as a joke; they have no idea who I am, but they've been speaking to me, shaping my morality, my politics, my talents, my tastes, and my choices during some of the best and worst times of my life, *all* of my life

and in that moment, the realisation that Ed, the same force that once scrawled "PRO-CHOICE" on his arm when I was a wide-eyed kid with no idea that some choices would even be possible for me, was still here, and telling me "out of everyone, you're not just anyone; you're the one and only you... we've done all we can do"

and after I was done crying, there was a contentment that washed over me about that

Ms Harmless wrote:you're welcome Ruddo

daunting? that intrigues me, I'd love to hear more about that if you want to divulge

E.H. Ruddock wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:you're welcome Ruddo

daunting? that intrigues me, I'd love to hear more about that if you want to divulge

Maybe just overwhelming would be better? This line: "I don’t expect ever to hear my parents call me their daughter without some hesitation; I've accepted that, come to terms, what have you" just pulled at my heartstrings. I can't imagine how you feel. Just thinking about that makes me feel overwhelmed, I admire your ability to even talk about it.

stip wrote:I missed that post initially Mrs. Harmless. That's extraordinarily powerful. I'm so glad you had that experience

Ms Harmless wrote:OK so...

in the run up to Dark Matter, when we first saw the track list and started hearing stories and background on the songs, I was sure that it was going to be "Waiting For Stevie" -- about a woman (according to Ed) at a concert, who has always been able to escape her pain through music -- that captured me emotionally, hook line and sinker, as someone who has been with this band all of my music-listening life (I was 9 in 1991), and grown to realise I was a woman; but I was wrong

turns out that WFS doesn't go into all that potential depth, it's a bit vaguer, which is fine

since we heard the metal door and official clips of "Something Special", I knew this would be a song I could get behind and on the favourable end of the "schmaltzy songs about Ed's family" spectrum, but I didn't expect a song about *Ed's own daughters* to be the one that hit me in that deep way; I just expected it to be cute, in a good way

that is until yesterday, when I started listening and singing along, and I began crying; I knew immediately why

over the last 10 years I've had a bit of a rocky time with my family, and my parents, accepting me fully as a trans woman, a sister, and a daughter; without going too far into that and making myself completely vulnerable, I don’t expect ever to hear my parents call me their daughter without some hesitation; I've accepted that, come to terms, what have you, and learned to take the good of our relationship while we're all still around; but, suddenly listening to this song from a doting father speaking wisdom / prayer / prophecy of protection almost, over his daughter, it suddenly moved me to tears knowing that I had never experienced that in my past, but that right here, in this moment, I was experiencing a version of that right now, because Ed has always been there and his lyrics were crucial to my development, and here he was, letting me "fly the nest", and saying "before you go, here is a little emotional closure that you maybe didn't even know you needed"

one thing I've been doing for years is referring to Pearl Jam as "my Grunge dads" as a joke; they have no idea who I am, but they've been speaking to me, shaping my morality, my politics, my talents, my tastes, and my choices during some of the best and worst times of my life, *all* of my life

and in that moment, the realisation that Ed, the same force that once scrawled "PRO-CHOICE" on his arm when I was a wide-eyed kid with no idea that some choices would even be possible for me, was still here, and telling me "out of everyone, you're not just anyone; you're the one and only you... we've done all we can do"

and after I was done crying, there was a contentment that washed over me about that

guitar_davey wrote:

Ms Harmless wrote:OK so...

in the run up to Dark Matter, when we first saw the track list and started hearing stories and background on the songs, I was sure that it was going to be "Waiting For Stevie" -- about a woman (according to Ed) at a concert, who has always been able to escape her pain through music -- that captured me emotionally, hook line and sinker, as someone who has been with this band all of my music-listening life (I was 9 in 1991), and grown to realise I was a woman; but I was wrong

turns out that WFS doesn't go into all that potential depth, it's a bit vaguer, which is fine

since we heard the metal door and official clips of "Something Special", I knew this would be a song I could get behind and on the favourable end of the "schmaltzy songs about Ed's family" spectrum, but I didn't expect a song about *Ed's own daughters* to be the one that hit me in that deep way; I just expected it to be cute, in a good way

that is until yesterday, when I started listening and singing along, and I began crying; I knew immediately why

over the last 10 years I've had a bit of a rocky time with my family, and my parents, accepting me fully as a trans woman, a sister, and a daughter; without going too far into that and making myself completely vulnerable, I don’t expect ever to hear my parents call me their daughter without some hesitation; I've accepted that, come to terms, what have you, and learned to take the good of our relationship while we're all still around; but, suddenly listening to this song from a doting father speaking wisdom / prayer / prophecy of protection almost, over his daughter, it suddenly moved me to tears knowing that I had never experienced that in my past, but that right here, in this moment, I was experiencing a version of that right now, because Ed has always been there and his lyrics were crucial to my development, and here he was, letting me "fly the nest", and saying "before you go, here is a little emotional closure that you maybe didn't even know you needed"

one thing I've been doing for years is referring to Pearl Jam as "my Grunge dads" as a joke; they have no idea who I am, but they've been speaking to me, shaping my morality, my politics, my talents, my tastes, and my choices during some of the best and worst times of my life, *all* of my life

and in that moment, the realisation that Ed, the same force that once scrawled "PRO-CHOICE" on his arm when I was a wide-eyed kid with no idea that some choices would even be possible for me, was still here, and telling me "out of everyone, you're not just anyone; you're the one and only you... we've done all we can do"

and after I was done crying, there was a contentment that washed over me about that

As others have already said, Ms H, this is a beautiful post.

Please know that you have many allies in this PJ community.

Ms Harmless wrote:Something Special, or, "Please Call Me Daughter"

Ms Harmless wrote:OK so...

in the run up to Dark Matter, when we first saw the track list and started hearing stories and background on the songs, I was sure that it was going to be "Waiting For Stevie" -- about a woman (according to Ed) at a concert, who has always been able to escape her pain through music -- that captured me emotionally, hook line and sinker, as someone who has been with this band all of my music-listening life (I was 9 in 1991), and grown to realise I was a woman; but I was wrong

turns out that WFS doesn't go into all that potential depth, it's a bit vaguer, which is fine

since we heard the metal door and official clips of "Something Special", I knew this would be a song I could get behind and on the favourable end of the "schmaltzy songs about Ed's family" spectrum, but I didn't expect a song about *Ed's own daughters* to be the one that hit me in that deep way; I just expected it to be cute, in a good way

that is until yesterday, when I started listening and singing along, and I began crying; I knew immediately why

over the last 10 years I've had a bit of a rocky time with my family, and my parents, accepting me fully as a trans woman, a sister, and a daughter; without going too far into that and making myself completely vulnerable, I don’t expect ever to hear my parents call me their daughter without some hesitation; I've accepted that, come to terms, what have you, and learned to take the good of our relationship while we're all still around; but, suddenly listening to this song from a doting father speaking wisdom / prayer / prophecy of protection almost, over his daughter, it suddenly moved me to tears knowing that I had never experienced that in my past, but that right here, in this moment, I was experiencing a version of that right now, because Ed has always been there and his lyrics were crucial to my development, and here he was, letting me "fly the nest", and saying "before you go, here is a little emotional closure that you maybe didn't even know you needed"

one thing I've been doing for years is referring to Pearl Jam as "my Grunge dads" as a joke; they have no idea who I am, but they've been speaking to me, shaping my morality, my politics, my talents, my tastes, and my choices during some of the best and worst times of my life, *all* of my life

and in that moment, the realisation that Ed, the same force that once scrawled "PRO-CHOICE" on his arm when I was a wide-eyed kid with no idea that some choices would even be possible for me, was still here, and telling me "out of everyone, you're not just anyone; you're the one and only you... we've done all we can do"

and after I was done crying, there was a contentment that washed over me about that

tragabigzanda wrote:There's a breezy joy that the band brings to this track (and wait until you hear the remaster!) that I've recently connected with, and that is largely absent from the rest of their discography. But ms H's more personal connection is really great, it reframes the sentiment of the song beyond "Ed's got kids now."