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Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Fri January 06, 2023 10:37 pm
by spike
Very sorry, B.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Fri January 06, 2023 10:45 pm
by knee tunes
B wrote:
Monkey_Driven wrote:So sorry to hear about your mom, B. If there are particular close friends or family members who you want to "instruct", I'd reach out to them privately. Otherwise, your FB post is probably enough.

Don't assume inaction is not caring. Everyone grieves in different ways. What does your dad need to feel supported?
Yeah, since I've lived in another state for 20 years, I don't REALLY want to instruct anyone. I was hoping a post my spur some of my parents' friends or church congregation into action.

My dad would probably benefit from calls, which I assume will happen, but he'd be "happy" to find out people visited mom in her last days.

We'll probably see everyone at the funeral. I get a lot of "I just don't want to see her like that." (She's been mostly non-responsive for the past 6 months.) I get that, but dad's there every day feeding her, and it means so much when someone else visits.

I'm sorry B.

I see nothing wrong with saying that visits , if possible, are appreciated by your dad

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 07, 2023 1:10 am
by lennytheweedwhacker
I'm sorry, b. I agree with kt.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 07, 2023 10:26 pm
by B
Actually worked. A lot of people visited today.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 07, 2023 11:04 pm
by JuanHamm
B wrote:Actually worked. A lot of people visited today.
That's fantastic, it must have meant a lot to your Dad.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 07, 2023 11:39 pm
by tragabigzanda
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sun January 08, 2023 12:42 am
by wease
So sorry to hear, B. Glad she got some visitors.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sun January 08, 2023 12:43 am
by VinylGuy
B wrote:Actually worked. A lot of people visited today.
very happy for this B

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sun January 08, 2023 12:50 am
by knee tunes
This is good to hear. {{hug}}

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 21, 2023 6:48 am
by Bammer
We’ve been having some estate planning and such talks with my dad lately.

Today I straight up asked him if there would be any point where he completely loses his faculties, would he like us to find a Dr. Kavorkian.

He said no, but he also doesn’t want to be resuscitated and if he ever ends up on life support, pull the plug after 10 days.

He is 81.

Man this is weird to talk about.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 21, 2023 1:54 pm
by wease
Bammer wrote:We’ve been having some estate planning and such talks with my dad lately.

Today I straight up asked him if there would be any point where he completely loses his faculties, would he like us to find a Dr. Kavorkian.

He said no, but he also doesn’t want to be resuscitated and if he ever ends up on life support, pull the plug after 10 days.

He is 81.

Man this is weird to talk about.
Make you you guys get that down in writing and do everything you can to ensure that would hold up in case it’s contested if it ever happens.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 6:05 am
by Bammer
This situation with my dad got me thinking about my own estate planning. The first thing that came to mind was to call my best friend and tell him if both me and Mrs. Bam die he has to fly up from Cali and be the first one to go through our house and remove things from our respective bedside tables if you know what I’m saying.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 6:34 am
by knee tunes
I did my own estate planning recently. From those forms I was able to do a living will (which is what you're referring to bammer) ,medical power of attorney, and durable power of attorney for my mom. It was easy to do once I had the templates. If anyone needs any help with this or wants to use these forms, pm me I'd be glad to help

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 8:27 am
by tragabigzanda
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 11:45 am
by B
Once doctors put in a feeding tube or hook up a respirator, they will fight removing them even with a DNR. You have to have that stuff ready, and barring a sudden accident, you probably will.

That was part of my mom's plan when she went to the nursing home, so when she stopped eating, there was no discussion of a feeding tube. They just gave her morphine.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 2:17 pm
by tragabigzanda
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 3:14 pm
by Bammer
tragabigzanda wrote:Why does bammer have a dildo in his nightstand
Where else would it go?

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 3:16 pm
by tragabigzanda
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 3:17 pm
by tragabigzanda
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

Re: Parents getting old

Posted: Sat January 28, 2023 3:22 pm
by Bammer
tragabigzanda wrote:Wait if the dildo’s in your nightstand then what is in Mrs Ban’s nightstand?
Same difference I asked him to go through hers, too.