Red Mosquito

I think the art department did a great job despite Lucas's occasional "make it look more stupid" art direction.

They did, which is why with a great concept (SW), great art department, three great actors, it's a shame they didn't do better.

Anders wrote:

BurtReynolds wrote:I can understand the jar jar hate, but I never understood why more people didn't hate those stupid Japanese stereotype bad guy aliens. they were far more annoying to me. it doesn't help that literally nothing they do over the course of the entire movie, from the smallest decision to the largest, makes any sense whatsoever. at least jar jar had an excuse: he was mentally ill.

Sidious (Palpatine) has a fantastic story.

really? I don't remember any of that.

I might be a lot more forgiving of Menace if there was some way to get everything explained to me without having to pursue information or ever have to watch it again. My son was in love with it for about half a summer, a few years ago, and I constantly got bits and pieces that reminded me of my hate.

But, like, why did the kid who was capable of designing and building his own speed racer thing decide to make his mom a robohelper, but build a protocol droid instead? What exactly was the actual bad guy plan in Phantom Menace? Why couldn't Quiggle Goo hire a freighter with republic credits the way Obi Wan did? Aren't credits valuable to people who travel through the republic? And couldn't they just come back for the ship later? Why bring Jar Jar into town if you want to lay low? Why couldn't they go back and free Smeegle at the end? Why did the droid army start the invasion by landing on the opposite side of the planet from the city they wanted to take over? What was the point of that? Why did the green guys send the princess chick who was their entire reason for invading away to some interment camp, with just half a dozen robot bodyguards? Don't they discuss not knowing where the jedi are in the EXACT SAME SCENE? And speaking of, why do the jedi come to the surface smack dab in the middle of the city in broad daylight? And why

I was thinking of the arc from ep 1 through 6. Which good villain wouldn't want total control of the galaxy?

Phantom may be the worst movie of all time.

Really.

McParadigm wrote:I might be a lot more forgiving of Menace if there was some way to get everything explained to me without having to pursue information or ever have to watch it again. My son was in love with it for about half a summer, a few years ago, and I constantly got bits and pieces that reminded me of my hate.

But, like, why did the kid who was capable of designing and building his own speed racer thing decide to make his mom a robohelper, but build a protocol droid instead? What exactly was the actual bad guy plan in Phantom Menace? Why couldn't Quiggle Goo hire a freighter with republic credits the way Obi Wan did? Aren't credits valuable to people who travel through the republic? And couldn't they just come back for the ship later? Why bring Jar Jar into town if you want to lay low? Why couldn't they go back and free Smeegle at the end? Why did the droid army start the invasion by landing on the opposite side of the planet from the city they wanted to take over? What was the point of that? Why did the green guys send the princess chick who was their entire reason for invading away to some interment camp, with just half a dozen robot bodyguards? Don't they discuss not knowing where the jedi are in the EXACT SAME SCENE? And speaking of, why do the jedi come to the surface smack dab in the middle of the city in broad daylight? And why

1. Money. 2. To create confusion and war to make Palpatine supreme chancellor. 3. They were hunted and were outside of the republic on a Hutt world, and struggled to use republic credit. 4. Change of plan with the pod race. 5. I agree. 6. The droid army was just a plot by Palpatine. He needed time. 7. She was meant to escape.

I bet that Jedi "run fast" ability that you see once would have really come in handy at some other point in the story. Like if they came across some doors that close periodically for some reason.

And why the hell are they holding their breath in the beginning when they just have rebreather thingies? And why are they carrying rebreather thingies if they can just hold their breath? and why dont the nemoidians just blow them up in their ships instead of trying to gas them AND blowing up their ship anyway (in the middle of their goddamned hangar). and why are they trying to kill them anyway? if the emperor wants to use this crisis to create trouble in the Senate, why it's he trying to keep it secret? what possible use is a forced signature in this case?!

none of it, NONE of it, makes any sense!


it's brilliant!

You do know thar Palpatine and the emperor are the same guy right? Of course he had to keep it a secret so that he could take over the senate.

Wasn't the podracer put together from spare parts out of the junkyard? Why would money be a factor in Anakin making a protocol droid that is going to be of very little use to Smeegle, but not in the much larger and more complicated pod racer? Also, what is Smeegle's purpose to the blue guy, besides Anakin knows her? What exactly does she do? Do I want to know? Becoming chancellor is the bad guy goal, but what was the actual plan for achieving it? The floaty guy won't take republic credits, because he can't spend them on huttworld, which is where he apparently keeps his goods and sexsmeegle. But smugglers, lawyers, and other villainy would use them, right? Like, some guy with a freighter and a price on his head and a need for work, who is hanging out in a bar? So just go find someone like that. Actually, do they even ASK any other traders around town? And why does the pod race result in them not needing to lay low? Is it ethical for a Jedi to use his mind control and physical manipulation powers to win a bet? Why not just steal it from the guy, since that's what you did anyway? Somehow, this seems more cruel. Wait. Palpatine needed time? Maybe it was all a ploy for him (?!?!?!?!?), but it wasn't a ploy for the green racist caricatures, right? What were they getting out of this deal? How do they run a massive paramilitary complex but belong in a group home? Also, what? Also, if Thor's girlfriend escaping was a part of Senator Lieberman's plan, then what was he going to do if she DIDN'T escape? Would that have fucked things up for him? That doesn't make sense to me. Also, what? Why does the bodyguard order the disguised princess to clean up the droid after they run the blockade? So she won't be around to hear any potentially important updates? Doesn't the chancellor send the Jedi to find out whether or not a blockade is happening, and why? So why does he respond to their report by ordering an investigation regarding the validity of the claims? Also, what?

Anders wrote:I was thinking of the arc from ep 1 through 6. Which good villain wouldn't want total control of the galaxy?

well sure he's just the devil, which is all that's required of him in the originals. his story is summed up in a couple of lines of dialogue. it's hardly fantastic and there is no arc to him at all.

the prequels attempt to show how he did it, and does a terrible job of it. his plan seems to be:

1. be born into an irrational universe full of idiots.
2. do some random evil stuff, even when the evil stuff works against other evil stuff, because evil.
3. win

it only seems to work because... well I don't know why. it just does. it even seems to work in spite of him sometimes. luckily for him, the jedi are so completely inept he could have just sat out the first movie altogether and it wouldn't have mattered.

Surely C3PO is a lot more complicated than the pod racer? They can use him or sell him for money. The podracer was a hobby, like Pearl Jam to us. Smeegle was a slave. Becoming Emperor was the bad guy goal, and he achieved it by creating war and becoming chancellor. Yes, everything that happens is part of his plot. The green guys think they get power and money, but end up slaughtered by Palpatine.

BurtReynolds wrote:the prequels attempt to show how he did it, and does a terrible job of it. his plan seems to be:

1. be born into an irrational universe full of idiots.
2. do some random evil stuff, even when the evil stuff works against other evil stuff, because evil.
3. win

it only seems to work because... well I don't know why. it just does. it even seems to work in spite of him sometimes. luckily for him, the jedi are so completely inept he could have just sat out the first movie altogether and it wouldn't have mattered.

They even undercut the whole "use conflict and fear to take power" thing, later on, by having it fought exclusively between robots and clones. The movies show no sign whatsoever that this war has impacted the voting public. The capital city is clean, people are out driving around at night, princesses are hanging around giant open windows, and there's no talk of food shortages or any need to enlist volunteers or anything. The entire society has no more reason to feel invested in the war than we do. It's just a big fat "who cares."

That's almost as pointless as if you had a massive starship smashing into a downtown area and killing millions of people, and then moments later seeing that everyone four blocks over is just going to work and waiting on traffic lights like nothing even hap-

BurtReynolds wrote:

Anders wrote:I was thinking of the arc from ep 1 through 6. Which good villain wouldn't want total control of the galaxy?

well sure he's just the devil, which is all that's required of him in the originals. his story is summed up in a couple of lines of dialogue. it's hardly fantastic and there is no arc to him at all.

the prequels attempt to show how he did it, and does a terrible job of it. his plan seems to be:

1. be born into an irrational universe full of idiots.
2. do some random evil stuff, even when the evil stuff works against other evil stuff, because evil.
3. win

it only seems to work because... well I don't know why. it just does. it even seems to work in spite of him sometimes. luckily for him, the jedi are so completely inept he could have just sat out the first movie altogether and it wouldn't have mattered.

Everything that happens is because of him. That's the whole story. He runs both sides of the war completely. Until finally he uses the chaos to kill the Jedi, and use the droids and the clones to control the galaxy for 20-30 years.

Look, even if the story makes 1 bit of sense, its poorly executed, its poorly shot, i dont give two shits about it, there is no human element in any of it, the CGi is an abortion, highly qualified actors even became unbearable, and yea...

its so brutal.

Nitpick away and talk about the original trilogy being ridiculous, but at least you felt something watching those movies.

Anders wrote:Surely C3PO is a lot more complicated than the pod racer? They can use him or sell him for money. The podracer was a hobby, like Pearl Jam to us. Smeegle was a slave. Becoming Emperor wad the bad guy goal, and he achieved it by creating war and becoming chancellor.

Oh, so he invested all his time and effort in his hobby, then shat out a subpar protocol droid as a present to his mom rather than taking the time to make something with a vacuum attachment, drink stirrer finger extenders, and a vibrating groin. Given all that, doesn't it seem like it would have been a lot more reasonable to just not have him make C3PO? Like, at all? Just, change it up and address any and all questions by....not that?

Also, tell me more about this Emperor Wad. Because I clearly missed the only character in this entire movie with a rockstar name.

McParadigm wrote:

Anders wrote:Surely C3PO is a lot more complicated than the pod racer? They can use him or sell him for money. The podracer was a hobby, like Pearl Jam to us. Smeegle was a slave. Becoming Emperor wad the bad guy goal, and he achieved it by creating war and becoming chancellor.

Oh, so he invested all his time and effort in his hobby, then shat out a subpar protocol droid as a present to his mom rather than taking the time to make something with a vacuum attachment, drink stirrer finger extenders, and a vibrating groin. Given all that, doesn't it seem like it would have been a lot more reasonable to just not have him make C3PO? Like, at all? Just, change it up and address any and all questions by....not that?

Also, tell me more about this Emperor Wad. Because I clearly missed the only character in this entire movie with a rockstar name.

Spaceballs is better than the Prequel trilogy. For sure

The original trilogy is my Pearl Jam of the movies. Amazing. Seen them probably 15 times.

Anders wrote:The original trilogy is my Pearl Jam of the movies. Amazing. Seen them probably 15 times.

LOl at only 15.

Ive probably seen the Original Gangstas about 100 each. Watched em this weekend too!

McParadigm wrote:

Anders wrote:Surely C3PO is a lot more complicated than the pod racer? They can use him or sell him for money. The podracer was a hobby, like Pearl Jam to us. Smeegle was a slave. Becoming Emperor wad the bad guy goal, and he achieved it by creating war and becoming chancellor.

Oh, so he invested all his time and effort in his hobby, then shat out a subpar protocol droid as a present to his mom rather than taking the time to make something with a vacuum attachment, drink stirrer finger extenders, and a vibrating groin. Given all that, doesn't it seem like it would have been a lot more reasonable to just not have him make C3PO? Like, at all? Just, change it up and address any and all questions by....not that?

Also, tell me more about this Emperor Wad. Because I clearly missed the only character in this entire movie with a rockstar name.

C3PO is not subpar, and they could get a lot of money from him, possibly to buy their freedom. A dildodroid probably would only help his mother around the house.