Coach wrote:If you find yourself waiting around for someone (or something) just do a few jumping jacks and crunches. Weight loss will result.
One of the hardest explanations to be found
Is an explanation for just standing around.
Anyone just standing around looks pretty sinister,
Even a minister;
Consider then the plight of the criminal,
Who lacks even the protective coloration of a hyminal,
And as just standing around
is any good criminal’s practically daily stint,
I wish to proffer a hint.
Are you, sir, a masher who blushes as he loiters?
Do you stammer to passersby that you are merely
expecting a streetcar, or a dispatch from Reuter’s?
Or perhaps you are a safeblower engaged in casing a joint;
Can you look at the patrolman in the eye
or do you forget all the savoir-faire you ever loint?
Suppose you are a shoplifter awaiting an opportunity to lift a shop,
Or simply a novice with a length of lead pipe killing time in an alley
pending the arrival of a wealthy fop,
Well, should any official ask you why you are just standing around,
Do you wish you could simply sink into the ground?
My dear sir, do not be embarrassed,
do not reach for your gun or your knife,
Remember the password, which, uttered in a tone of quiet despair,
is the explanation of anyone’s standing around anywhere
at any hour for any length of time:
“I’m waiting for my wife.”
-Ogden Nash