The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

dad · Post by **dad** » Mon March 13, 2023 3:57 pm

Have not pooped since maybe Friday.

Monkey_Driven · Post by **Monkey_Driven** » Mon March 13, 2023 4:22 pm

The Monday back at work after traveling over the weekend is always a toilet adventure. Two times this morning!

tree_ · Post by **tree_** » Mon March 13, 2023 5:55 pm

I really could poop. I've been feeling it in there for the past hour or so, politely recommending I let it out, with some frequent soft toots. I'm waiting for an urgent demand before agreeing to release it.

tree_ · Post by **tree_** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:08 pm

Message apparently received! Soon after typing that, an urgent demand was declared. I opened the gates, and the soft-serve came out smoothly, mostly in one piece. But after the initial movement, the ice cream machine was on, but it only came out in small chunks and the last bit stayed in there, pressed against the surface, making my wipe a little messy at first, but overall clean-up was pretty successful with not too much effort, even with my office's shitty toilet paper.

Monkey_Driven · Post by **Monkey_Driven** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:15 pm

this thread was a mistake

Coach · Post by **Coach** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:28 pm

I made a rookie mistake this weekend with poop and need to confess....

I was in bed trying to hold a fart in because I didn't want to let a real nasty one loose in front of my GF. We are comfortable w/ each other, but it's still embarrassing.

So, I held in the gas for a few hours and finally got up early in the AM and had a bit of a rough poop.

I took a shower and clearly was not done and went again. It wasn't a solid and enjoyable experience like normal.

Lesson: don't hold it in. Just let it rip.

tree_ · Post by **tree_** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:29 pm

Are you saying you pooped in the shower?

Ello Sailor · Post by **Ello Sailor** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:29 pm

dad wrote:Have not pooped since maybe Friday.

Disgraceful. Don't come back until you've crapped bigly.

bodysnatcher · Post by **bodysnatcher** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:29 pm

What is holding in a fart?

tree_ · Post by **tree_** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:32 pm

bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?

It's like when Beverly Hills Cop put the banana in the guy's tailpipe.

Post by **96583UP** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:32 pm

first poop the moment i woke up which is atypical and it was disappointing. poop equivalent of a baby dick and i felt like there was more but couldnt get it out

fast fwd about 30 mins later and round 2 came which was more satisfying but still not all the way home

2 more by lunch and felt like i had fully purged

surprising bc i have been focusing on fiber but then i wondered if bc i am not pounding down on red meat like i used to i am not getting the quality beef (poop) that i might expect with the high fiber addition

i usually never juice cleanse but this is the first time i am considering taking that route

i want to clean house

but i know i will get so irritable it will put my personal and work relations at risk

lennytheweedwhacker · Mon March 13, 2023 6:32 pm

Felt like I had to poop sit on the toilet only weird fart escapes

Coach · Post by **Coach** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:33 pm

I didn't poop in the shower. I made it out in plenty of time.

Holding in a fart is just not letting it pass I guess. I am pretty good at it but it really sets you back.

lennytheweedwhacker · Mon March 13, 2023 6:41 pm

tree_ wrote:Message apparently received! Soon after typing that, an urgent demand was declared. I opened the gates, and the soft-serve came out smoothly, mostly in one piece. But after the initial movement, the ice cream machine was on, but it only came out in small chunks and the last bit stayed in there, pressed against the surface, making my wipe a little messy at first, but overall clean-up was pretty successful with not too much effort, even with my office's shitty toilet paper.

That sounds like 90% of my poops the last few years.

bodysnatcher · Post by **bodysnatcher** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:42 pm

One time when I was about 12 or 13, I was at the state fair and, thanks to the fair food, I had to take a sudden, very urgent dump, so I visited the group of portable toilets. I hovered over the seat bc the conditions were otherworldly. I let go a humongous load, completely relieved. I stood and turned to get the toilet paper, and realized my entire mound was sitting right there on the back of the toilet seat. Like a half gallon of wet sand. I wasn’t sure what to do before I left, so for some reason my dumbass just covered it up with a few pieces of toilet paper and I got the hell out of there.

lennytheweedwhacker · Mon March 13, 2023 6:42 pm

bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?

You can’t?

Coach · Post by **Coach** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:45 pm

lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?
You can’t?

God! Don't try to! Please!

tree_ · Post by **tree_** » Mon March 13, 2023 6:54 pm

We should have a fart-holding contest

bodysnatcher · Post by **bodysnatcher** » Mon March 13, 2023 7:00 pm

lennytheweedwhacker wrote:
bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?
You can’t?

Why would I deprive anyone the pleasure?

Coach · Post by **Coach** » Mon March 13, 2023 7:02 pm

Actually, it would be interesting to weigh yourself before and after a huge fart(s) to see if the lost gas pushes the needle to weight loss.

Red Mosquito

The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

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Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)

Re: The poop thread. (a thread, mostly, for bodysnatcher)