Red Mosquito

Have not pooped since maybe Friday.

The Monday back at work after traveling over the weekend is always a toilet adventure. Two times this morning!

I really could poop. I've been feeling it in there for the past hour or so, politely recommending I let it out, with some frequent soft toots. I'm waiting for an urgent demand before agreeing to release it.

Message apparently received! Soon after typing that, an urgent demand was declared. I opened the gates, and the soft-serve came out smoothly, mostly in one piece. But after the initial movement, the ice cream machine was on, but it only came out in small chunks and the last bit stayed in there, pressed against the surface, making my wipe a little messy at first, but overall clean-up was pretty successful with not too much effort, even with my office's shitty toilet paper.

this thread was a mistake

I made a rookie mistake this weekend with poop and need to confess....

I was in bed trying to hold a fart in because I didn't want to let a real nasty one loose in front of my GF. We are comfortable w/ each other, but it's still embarrassing.

So, I held in the gas for a few hours and finally got up early in the AM and had a bit of a rough poop.

I took a shower and clearly was not done and went again. It wasn't a solid and enjoyable experience like normal.

Lesson: don't hold it in. Just let it rip.

Are you saying you pooped in the shower?

dad wrote:Have not pooped since maybe Friday.

Disgraceful. Don't come back until you've crapped bigly.

What is holding in a fart?

bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?

It's like when Beverly Hills Cop put the banana in the guy's tailpipe.

first poop the moment i woke up which is atypical and it was disappointing. poop equivalent of a baby dick and i felt like there was more but couldnt get it out

fast fwd about 30 mins later and round 2 came which was more satisfying but still not all the way home

2 more by lunch and felt like i had fully purged

surprising bc i have been focusing on fiber but then i wondered if bc i am not pounding down on red meat like i used to i am not getting the quality beef (poop) that i might expect with the high fiber addition

i usually never juice cleanse but this is the first time i am considering taking that route

i want to clean house

but i know i will get so irritable it will put my personal and work relations at risk

Felt like I had to poop sit on the toilet only weird fart escapes

I didn't poop in the shower. I made it out in plenty of time.

Holding in a fart is just not letting it pass I guess. I am pretty good at it but it really sets you back.

tree_ wrote:Message apparently received! Soon after typing that, an urgent demand was declared. I opened the gates, and the soft-serve came out smoothly, mostly in one piece. But after the initial movement, the ice cream machine was on, but it only came out in small chunks and the last bit stayed in there, pressed against the surface, making my wipe a little messy at first, but overall clean-up was pretty successful with not too much effort, even with my office's shitty toilet paper.

That sounds like 90% of my poops the last few years.

One time when I was about 12 or 13, I was at the state fair and, thanks to the fair food, I had to take a sudden, very urgent dump, so I visited the group of portable toilets. I hovered over the seat bc the conditions were otherworldly. I let go a humongous load, completely relieved. I stood and turned to get the toilet paper, and realized my entire mound was sitting right there on the back of the toilet seat. Like a half gallon of wet sand. I wasn’t sure what to do before I left, so for some reason my dumbass just covered it up with a few pieces of toilet paper and I got the hell out of there.

bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?

You can’t?

lennytheweedwhacker wrote:

bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?

You can’t?

God! Don't try to! Please!

We should have a fart-holding contest

lennytheweedwhacker wrote:

bodysnatcher wrote:What is holding in a fart?

You can’t?

Why would I deprive anyone the pleasure?

Actually, it would be interesting to weigh yourself before and after a huge fart(s) to see if the lost gas pushes the needle to weight loss.