Red Mosquito

daft twat wrote:

Kaius wrote:

daft twat wrote:

Kaius wrote:Burt vs Hope Solo

Physically or verbally?

Fisticuffs. To the death.

In a laugher

Spoiler: show

Hope Solo vs a Big Montana from Arby's?

Has to be a draw.

spike wrote:what we haven't touched on much is vader's ability to control minds. i mean, smaug was sorta outsmarted by a fucking hobbit, so i'm sure vader could have his way with him.

That's a big plus in his favor

So in the plus column for Vader we've got:
- Mind control
- Moves objects with his mind
- Force choking
- Force sense
- Controls flying objects with his mind
- Quickness
- Can probably levitate and/or fly using the Force
- Skilled with a dangerous weapon
- Evil as a motherfucker (he slaughtered a bunch of fucking kids)
- Cunning

And in the minus column for Vader we have:
- Armor is flammable


Pluses for Smaug:
- Big
- Fire breath


Who else voted for Smaug in the poll??! Jesus.

Smaug gets flying, armored, IS a dangerous weapon, and probably is even more evil than vader.

stip wrote:Smaug gets flying, armored, IS a dangerous weapon, and probably is even more evil than vader.

omg, accept defeat already

LoathedVermin72 wrote:

stip wrote:Smaug gets flying, armored, IS a dangerous weapon, and probably is even more evil than vader.

omg, accept defeat already

I don't know nothing about no Smaug. Isn't he just really lazy and greedy? I just remember a lot of gold and he sleeps all the fucking time.

durdencommatyler wrote:I don't know nothing about no Smaug. Isn't he just really lazy and greedy? I just remember a lot of gold and he sleeps all the fucking time.

he gets outsmarted by some dumb fucking hobbits and dwarves for christ's sake, vader would rape his corpse

LoathedVermin72 wrote:

durdencommatyler wrote:I don't know nothing about no Smaug. Isn't he just really lazy and greedy? I just remember a lot of gold and he sleeps all the fucking time.

he gets outsmarted by some dumb fucking hobbits and dwarves for christ's sake, vader would rape his corpse

I never saw those "movies." I just read that "book" like a billion years ago. I'm glad to hear my memory isn't too far off.

stip wrote:Smaug gets flying, armored, IS a dangerous weapon, and probably is even more evil than vader.

Outline how the fight goes....but before you say something lame like Smaug stays hundreds of feet in the air and shoots fire at Vader from distance remember that Vader can just Death Star Middle Earth from orbit. What makes these kinds of matchups workable is the extenuating circumstances and constraints that allows Batman to defeat Superman 1 out of 100 times or Bard to kill Smaug with an arrow. You gotta have a Thrush whispering in someone ear.

bada is one of RM's greatest resources. Don't you dare scare him away, Smaug voters!

durdencommatyler wrote:bada is one of RM's greatest resources. Don't you dare scare him away, Smaug voters!

he wouldn't scare away by smaug nation. He would just cut them down with the force of ten billion midi-chlorians.

It's obviously Vader. WTF?

E.H. Ruddock wrote:

durdencommatyler wrote:bada is one of RM's greatest resources. Don't you dare scare him away, Smaug voters!

he wouldn't scare away by smaug nation. He would just cut them down with the force of ten billion midi-chlorians.

If they did strike him down, he would only become more powerful than they could possibly imagine.

durdencommatyler wrote:I don't know nothing about no Smaug. Isn't he just really lazy and greedy? I just remember a lot of gold and he sleeps all the fucking time.

well he does, but mostly because he murdered everyone in a 50 mile radius and stole all their money.

stip wrote:

durdencommatyler wrote:I don't know nothing about no Smaug. Isn't he just really lazy and greedy? I just remember a lot of gold and he sleeps all the fucking time.

well he does, but mostly because he murdered everyone in a 50 mile radius and stole all their money.

What a d*ck.

bada wrote:

stip wrote:Smaug gets flying, armored, IS a dangerous weapon, and probably is even more evil than vader.

Outline how the fight goes....but before you say something lame like Smaug stays hundreds of feet in the air and shoots fire at Vader from distance remember that Vader can just Death Star Middle Earth from orbit. What makes these kinds of matchups workable is the extenuating circumstances and constraints that allows Batman to defeat Superman 1 out of 100 times or Bard to kill Smaug with an arrow. You gotta have a Thrush whispering in someone ear.

Lets say that each of our gladiators are at opposite ends of a 100 yard field. Vader gets his lightsaber. He does not get to bring the resources of the empire to bear.

Vader's light saber is not going to be relevant to this fight. Smaug is too big, and his carapace is too hard. And if Vader got close Smaug would rip him apart. And Smaug would stay fairly far away and primarily breath fire.

So in order for Vader to win we need to figure out the following:

1. Could vader choke something that large? There are enough star wars games out there that someone can presumably answer that question. There's no movie comparison. If the answer is yes that's a huge plus in his favor, but my instincts say no

2. Could vader lift/freeze/manipulate something that large. We have the X-wing/Yoda comparison, but that smacked of concentration and effort Vader would not be able to bring to bear fighting a huge dragon who was trying to kill him. I don't think this becomes relevant

3 Could vader mind control Smaug? I think that's his weak spot, and if the answer is yes that's a huge plus for Vader and may sway my vote. But mind control isn't usually used mid fight in star wars. Would that count?


And Joey, the whole smaug sequence from start to finish in desolation of smaug is great. He's a force of nature. No one really fights him. The dwarves try and trap him, but they mostly just run from him. He has a hard time killing them cuz they're tiny and fast and can hide--the same reason why Star Destroyers aren't seen picking off x-wings too often. It's like swatting a fly

durdencommatyler wrote:

stip wrote:

durdencommatyler wrote:I don't know nothing about no Smaug. Isn't he just really lazy and greedy? I just remember a lot of gold and he sleeps all the fucking time.

well he does, but mostly because he murdered everyone in a 50 mile radius and stole all their money.

What a d*ck.

yeah he's a total dick.

stip wrote:1. Could vader choke something that large? There are enough star wars games out there that someone can presumably answer that question. There's no movie comparison. If the answer is yes that's a huge plus in his favor, but my instincts say no

2. Could vader lift/freeze/manipulate something that large. We have the X-wing/Yoda comparison, but that smacked of concentration and effort Vader would not be able to bring to bear fighting a huge dragon who was trying to kill him. I don't think this becomes relevant

3 Could vader mind control Smaug? I think that's his weak spot, and if the answer is yes that's a huge plus for Vader and may sway my vote. But mind control isn't usually used mid fight in star wars. Would that count?

1. Why? Limited as it may be, there is more evidence for the argument than against it.

2. Yoda did it when he was dying. Hell, Luke just about did it and he didn't know what he was doing. Vader is the greatest Dark Side force in the galaxy behind The Emperor. And he even beat that fucker. So....

3. I believe he could. I don't know that he'd need to. Either way, he could at least get in his head, communicate and fuck with him, distract him, break his concentration.

durdencommatyler wrote:3. I believe he could. I don't know that he'd need to. Either way, he could at least get in his head, communicate and fuck with him, distract him, break his concentration.

Look, if fucking Bilbo can confuse Smaug through obvious flattery, Vader sure as shit could mind-control that fool.