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Re: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:30 pm
by dimejinky99
Strat wrote:
Monkey_Driven wrote:
LoathedVermin72 wrote:lol this movie was so much worse than I ever could have imagined. The safest, blandest, most braindead product possible. Ridley, Boyega, and especially Gleeson were all horrendous. Awful writing. Wonky pacing. Nothing but exposition punctuated by bangs and flashes, and it embraces the worst aspects of modern drama.

VERY easily the worst SW movie - as bad as the prequels were, at least they were imaginative and didn't just regurgitate the OT in the least exciting possible way. Corporate fanboy nostalgia has really hit a new low with this.
We were all waiting for this. Thanks for not disappointing.


Ridiculous 6
I can never ever tell when something is RM schtick and people just playing the roles of if they mean it. 'I'm always the guy hates everything but it's schtick' or is it

It's a gas

Re: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:34 pm
by BurtReynolds
lennytheweedwhacker wrote:i agree with lv 53% of the time, so this concerns me
It's impossible to disagree with him much more than that. His opinions are essentially coin flips.

Re: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:34 pm
by ABNorman
Sandler Wandlers: The Farts A-bakin'

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:40 pm
by McParadigm
BurtReynolds wrote:
McParadigm wrote:Someone in my office just said this was the best movie since Jurassic World

Which she said she saw 5 times in the theater

So no thanks
Do you have your old checklist handy? I would like to compare. I fear you were pretty accurate.
Actually, it sounds to me like I failed...but only because I underestimated the depth of homage/callback this would be.

Not even I thought they'd use the entire plot.
"Tatooine is a remote desert planet" landscape shot...multiple suns optional.
- Somebody references Jabba and/or Boba Fett...probably in a way that's just slight enough for people to feel like it's an "in" joke even though everybody gets it.
- Carbonite. Just...something something carbonite.
- The Millenium Falcon is a piece of junk. That, or someone points out that the Kessel Run is usually finished much faster than Han's much-boasted about time.
- Some kind of "Han shoots first" joke.
- Leia and Han bicker about something. He probably calls her "Princess," or there's a nerf herder line of some sort.
- Han and Luke keep track of who owes who more.
- Imperial Walkers.
- Either Darth Vader's image, or a villain who is styled to remind us of him.
- "Here we go again."
- Someone talks about hate, and all the problems it can cause.
- A younger character behaves rebelliously, and a joke is made about how the rebels are now the old folks.
- We see an underside shot of a Star Destroyer as it passes over. The Imperial March is a given.
- Luke pulls an Obi-Wan... Cuts off an arm or impersonates a monster call. Either way, someone loses an arm or hand.
- We will see the inside of a cantina. Could be THE cantina, in which case a character will warn someone that it is a hive of villainy, and then when they walk in it will be quiet and peaceful.
- A slave girl costume reference.
- Possibly a very slight nod-and-wink to Jar Jar hate.
- A huge boss ship. Probably black. Or a planet sized weapon blows up.
- Either a quip about facing dangerous odds, or a comment about how no sane person would ever fly into an asteroid field. Han may well be the one who makes this joke.
- Lazy joke about Luke and Leia kissing.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:43 pm
by dprival78
Screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan, who co-wrote The Force Awakens and some of the earlier movies, says that Rian is “going to make some weird thing. If you’ve seen Rian’s work, you know it’s not going be like anything that’s ever been in Star Wars.”

http://www.justjared.com/2015/12/18/sta ... ck=tsmclip

i hope for weird for the next one.

i could post the same thing in the 11th PJ album thread.

i wonder which one will come out first..

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:43 pm
by swan
It would be really great to get a director's cut or extended edition with the cut scenes that flesh out a bit more of the history/exposition/character histories. Not counting on it but wouldn't put it past the Disney money-gobbling machine.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:44 pm
by BurtReynolds
McParadigm wrote:
BurtReynolds wrote:
McParadigm wrote:Someone in my office just said this was the best movie since Jurassic World

Which she said she saw 5 times in the theater

So no thanks
Do you have your old checklist handy? I would like to compare. I fear you were pretty accurate.
Actually, it sounds to me like I failed...but only because I underestimated the depth of homage/callback this would be.

Not even I thought they'd use the entire plot.
"Tatooine is a remote desert planet" landscape shot...multiple suns optional.
- Somebody references Jabba and/or Boba Fett...probably in a way that's just slight enough for people to feel like it's an "in" joke even though everybody gets it.
- Carbonite. Just...something something carbonite.
- The Millenium Falcon is a piece of junk. That, or someone points out that the Kessel Run is usually finished much faster than Han's much-boasted about time.
- Some kind of "Han shoots first" joke.
- Leia and Han bicker about something. He probably calls her "Princess," or there's a nerf herder line of some sort.
- Han and Luke keep track of who owes who more.
- Imperial Walkers.
- Either Darth Vader's image, or a villain who is styled to remind us of him.
- "Here we go again."
- Someone talks about hate, and all the problems it can cause.
- A younger character behaves rebelliously, and a joke is made about how the rebels are now the old folks.
- We see an underside shot of a Star Destroyer as it passes over. The Imperial March is a given.
- Luke pulls an Obi-Wan... Cuts off an arm or impersonates a monster call. Either way, someone loses an arm or hand.
- We will see the inside of a cantina. Could be THE cantina, in which case a character will warn someone that it is a hive of villainy, and then when they walk in it will be quiet and peaceful.
- A slave girl costume reference.
- Possibly a very slight nod-and-wink to Jar Jar hate.
- A huge boss ship. Probably black. Or a planet sized weapon blows up.
- Either a quip about facing dangerous odds, or a comment about how no sane person would ever fly into an asteroid field. Han may well be the one who makes this joke.
- Lazy joke about Luke and Leia kissing.
That's close enough. Depressingly close enough.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:44 pm
by dimejinky99
McParadigm wrote:
BurtReynolds wrote:
McParadigm wrote:Someone in my office just said this was the best movie since Jurassic World

Which she said she saw 5 times in the theater

So no thanks
Do you have your old checklist handy? I would like to compare. I fear you were pretty accurate.
Actually, it sounds to me like I failed...but only because I underestimated the depth of homage/callback this would be.

Not even I thought they'd use the entire plot.
"Tatooine is a remote desert planet" landscape shot...multiple suns optional.
- Somebody references Jabba and/or Boba Fett...probably in a way that's just slight enough for people to feel like it's an "in" joke even though everybody gets it.
- Carbonite. Just...something something carbonite.
- The Millenium Falcon is a piece of junk. That, or someone points out that the Kessel Run is usually finished much faster than Han's much-boasted about time.
- Some kind of "Han shoots first" joke.
- Leia and Han bicker about something. He probably calls her "Princess," or there's a nerf herder line of some sort.
- Han and Luke keep track of who owes who more.
- Imperial Walkers.
- Either Darth Vader's image, or a villain who is styled to remind us of him.
- "Here we go again."
- Someone talks about hate, and all the problems it can cause.
- A younger character behaves rebelliously, and a joke is made about how the rebels are now the old folks.
- We see an underside shot of a Star Destroyer as it passes over. The Imperial March is a given.
- Luke pulls an Obi-Wan... Cuts off an arm or impersonates a monster call. Either way, someone loses an arm or hand.
- We will see the inside of a cantina. Could be THE cantina, in which case a character will warn someone that it is a hive of villainy, and then when they walk in it will be quiet and peaceful.
- A slave girl costume reference.
- Possibly a very slight nod-and-wink to Jar Jar hate.
- A huge boss ship. Probably black. Or a planet sized weapon blows up.
- Either a quip about facing dangerous odds, or a comment about how no sane person would ever fly into an asteroid field. Han may well be the one who makes this joke.
- Lazy joke about Luke and Leia kissing.


When was the last time you got a blow job?

Re: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:47 pm
by stip
dimejinky99 wrote:
stip wrote:I won't be able to say more until tonight but it was everything I needed it to be. Great characters, excellent action, and a very star warsy plot. Can't rank on one viewing but it hangs with the OT. A few very powerful moments

Did you cry? Cmon just say so. I did.

Delighted it did that for you too
Definitely teared up a few times - some were happy teats

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:48 pm
by McParadigm
Monday before bed.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:48 pm
by LetMeSleep
LoathedVermin72 wrote:
cutuphalfdead wrote:
Monkey_Driven wrote:
E.H. Ruddock wrote:With as big as the Star Wars Universe is, though, there is so much potential for new or even tangent storylines from the original. Copying the original just seems a little lazy and/or pandering.
For one movie I'm ok with it. Hopefully the next two will branch off and do their own thing.
I'm pretty sure in the next one Luke will have to go off on his own to further his training, only to abandon that training when his friends are betrayed by someone they thought they could trust. Also, someone will fall into a sarlacc pit and then 30 years later whoever owns the rights to the franchise will say he magically survived so they could use him in episode 14.
I guarantee Luke is going to train Rey just like Yoda trained him.
What else was ever going to happen?

Re: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:49 pm
by dimejinky99
stip wrote:
dimejinky99 wrote:
stip wrote:I won't be able to say more until tonight but it was everything I needed it to be. Great characters, excellent action, and a very star warsy plot. Can't rank on one viewing but it hangs with the OT. A few very powerful moments

Did you cry? Cmon just say so. I did.

Delighted it did that for you too
Definitely teared up a few times - some were happy teats

Delighted to hear it. Good sign.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:49 pm
by BurtReynolds
the callbacks, though numerous and annoying, aren't that lazy, and thankfully, there are no horrible meta jokes like "han shot first" thrown in. Otherwise I think you nailed it.

Re: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:50 pm
by dimejinky99
Going again in two hours. Cinema down the street from me.

Can't wait

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:53 pm
by McParadigm
BurtReynolds wrote:the callbacks, though numerous and annoying, aren't that lazy, and thankfully, there are no horrible meta jokes like "han shot first" thrown in. Otherwise I think you nailed it.
This makes me sad.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:55 pm
by BurtReynolds
McParadigm wrote:
BurtReynolds wrote:the callbacks, though numerous and annoying, aren't that lazy, and thankfully, there are no horrible meta jokes like "han shot first" thrown in. Otherwise I think you nailed it.
This makes me sad.
Merry Christmas!

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:57 pm
by LoathedVermin72
McParadigm wrote:
BurtReynolds wrote:the callbacks, though numerous and annoying, aren't that lazy, and thankfully, there are no horrible meta jokes like "han shot first" thrown in. Otherwise I think you nailed it.
This makes me sad.
He's lying.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:58 pm
by EJ
dprival78 wrote:Screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan, who co-wrote The Force Awakens and some of the earlier movies, says that Rian is “going to make some weird thing. If you’ve seen Rian’s work, you know it’s not going be like anything that’s ever been in Star Wars.”

http://www.justjared.com/2015/12/18/sta ... ck=tsmclip

i hope for weird for the next one.

i could post the same thing in the 11th PJ album thread.

i wonder which one will come out first..
I doubt it will get that weird because of Mickey Mouse's eventual input.

Re: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 8:59 pm
by Monkey_Driven
stip wrote:
dimejinky99 wrote:
stip wrote:I won't be able to say more until tonight but it was everything I needed it to be. Great characters, excellent action, and a very star warsy plot. Can't rank on one viewing but it hangs with the OT. A few very powerful moments

Did you cry? Cmon just say so. I did.

Delighted it did that for you too
Definitely teared up a few times - some were happy teats
Teats always make me happy.

Re: STAR WARS SPOILER THREAD. SPOILERS WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Fri December 18, 2015 9:00 pm
by dimejinky99
A hole has been blown in the Rey being Lukes daughter theory

The casting call asked for girls or boys of any ethnicity