Red Mosquito

I dug a coo noo
until there was digestion
of all I used to

I know the whole 5, 7, 5, thing but I usually have trouble with the right kireji. So here goes:

Forum of the web
Together by band and music
Red Mosquito - kin

Sgt. Crackpot wrote:I know the whole 5, 7, 5, thing but I usually have trouble with the right kireji. So here goes:

Forum of the web
Together by band and music
Red Mosquito - kin

Its really more of a guideline.

BurtReynolds wrote:Its really more of a guideline.

Which part? The 5,7,5 thing or the kireji?

Sgt. Crackpot wrote:

BurtReynolds wrote:Its really more of a guideline.

Which part? The 5,7,5 thing or the kireji?

the 5,7,5 thing. Maybe both.

BurtReynolds wrote:

Sgt. Crackpot wrote:

BurtReynolds wrote:Its really more of a guideline.

Which part? The 5,7,5 thing or the kireji?

the 5,7,5 thing. Maybe both.

OK, thanks. I guess I just like it more if it fits perfectly, without detracting from the thought/message that's intended, it's probably an anal retentiveness thing. But it's good to know that there's some flexibility.

if its about deer
or anything in nature
the gods will pat ass

knee tunes wrote:if its about deer
or anything in nature
the gods will pat ass

I love the twist at the end.

street lights on the glass
cascading out forever
what's on the menu?

No need compromise
Harmony in the marriage
Half and half pizza

Agony of hell
Cut too close with rusty blade
Ingrown pubic hair

5,7,5 was invented for English haiku as it was thought to approximate Japanese syllable lengths. But it turns out they are so variable, and generally much longer, that there's a lot of debate about it and quite a bit of flexibility; I know a lot of translated haiku isn't in 5,7,5. Some poets think 3,4,3 would be more accurate, technically.

Poet and scholar
Expert on percussion all
Awesome our Harmless

rolling down the street
smoking indo, sipping on
gin and juice. laid back.

Banana leaves wave
Graffiti guys spray our names
Life in the jungle

Money greedy all
Rob me take all I have plus more
Fuck you auto shops

We begin again
Never welcomed, always loathed
Fuck yourself Monday

surface the north wrote:Banana leaves wave
Graffiti guys spray our names
Life in the jungle

I surfaced the north
when my pen wasn't writing.
I'm in hiding, yeah.