Larry David moments IRL

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[The Argonaut]

Closer. Too much of this story takes place inside your head. You'd need someone to confront you about it, possibly in a light-hearted but insistent manner

[tragabigzanda]

There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

[Bammer]

Yeah I don’t remember your original attempt other than it was really bad.

As argo said; closer.

[knee tunes]

That's true. The story in my head had the class going along with it and laughing , saying yeah professor trag, sure it was your foot, uh huh.

...that didn't happen? We're there smirks?

You just kept on futzing to yourself?

[spike]

Closer. Too much of this story takes place inside your head. You'd need someone to confront you about it, possibly in a light-hearted but insistent manner

the pilot episode was all about his pants tents. As I recall, he doesn't get confronted about it until the very end?

Yeah, Argo’s wrong here.

[Ello Sailor]

The Ackchyuallynaut

[The Argonaut]

Closer. Too much of this story takes place inside your head. You'd need someone to confront you about it, possibly in a light-hearted but insistent manner

the pilot episode was all about his pants tents. As I recall, he doesn't get confronted about it until the very end?

Yeah, Argo’s wrong here.

Good. I like it

[spike]

Closer. Too much of this story takes place inside your head. You'd need someone to confront you about it, possibly in a light-hearted but insistent manner

the pilot episode was all about his pants tents. As I recall, he doesn't get confronted about it until the very end?

Yeah, Argo’s wrong here.

Good. I like it

I know you do, naughty boy. Want more?

[dad]

Closer. Too much of this story takes place inside your head. You'd need someone to confront you about it, possibly in a light-hearted but insistent manner

the pilot episode was all about his pants tents. As I recall, he doesn't get confronted about it until the very end?

Yeah, Argo’s wrong here.

Good. I like it

I know you do, naughty boy. Want more?

[spike]

We’ve started hiring a service to drive us to and from the airport when we travel as a family, since a car seat is needed. Anyway, tonight we were picked up by a small Asian lady, and of course had like eight bags, two of which were enormous, so I handled the loading…

[spike]

We’ve started hiring a service to drive us to and from the airport when we travel as a family, since a car seat is needed. Anyway, tonight we were picked up by a small Asian lady, and of course had like eight bags, two of which were enormous, so I handled the loading…

[lennytheweedwhacker]

We’ve started hiring a service to drive us to and from the airport when we travel as a family, since a car seat is needed. Anyway, tonight we were picked up by a small Asian lady, and of course had like eight bags, two of which were enormous, so I handled the loading…

Oh man.

[lennytheweedwhacker]

We’ve started hiring a service to drive us to and from the airport when we travel as a family, since a car seat is needed. Anyway, tonight we were picked up by a small Asian lady, and of course had like eight bags, two of which were enormous, so I handled the loading…

Oh man.

[Bammer]

We’ve started hiring a service to drive us to and from the airport when we travel as a family, since a car seat is needed. Anyway, tonight we were picked up by a small Asian lady, and of course had like eight bags, two of which were enormous, so I handled the loading…

You just can’t make this stuff up

[JuanHamm]

Was the second post supposed to contain the interesting part of that story, Spike?

[JuanHamm]

Was the second post supposed to contain the interesting part of that story, Spike?

[spike]

Was the second post supposed to contain the interesting part of that story, Spike?

This isn’t the thread for you.

[bodysnatcher]

Loading a car is the best part about traveling

[tree_]

Wife has been snoring a lot lately. Last night was particularly bad and so I brought it to her attention. It’s why I’m so tired. She said I was snoring too. Like, defensively and embarrassed. I’m having a hard time believing her. Utterly suspicious. When pressed, she insists I was snoring too, even describing exactly how I was snoring. Just seems weird and implausible. I woke up practically every 20 minutes last night to HER snoring, how could she have also been aware of my snoring...