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Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 4:19 pm
by Jorge
You ever open RM in the early morning and see that Bammer has the most recent posts in like the 58 current active threads? Then you have witnessed Bammer's nocturnal emissions. It's a curious phenomenon that I've been studying closely for some time now, and one I think we should all talk about.

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 4:54 pm
by Bammer
I’m old enough remember what happened the last time there were Bammer threads in GD

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 6:05 pm
by wease
He’s in the latest time zone. I used to wonder why the fuck he was up so late the I’d realize he’s 2 hours behind me.

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 6:10 pm
by 96583UP
i used to stay up late and RM and looked fwd to when the west coasters came online

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 7:59 pm
by tragabigzanda
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 8:19 pm
by Jorge
Yes, less astute minds might think that's all there is to it. But one of the hallmarks of Bammer's nocturnal emission posting is that it seems to be driven by a compulsion to see his name on the "Most recent post" column in as many threads and subforums as possible rather than a desire to engage in conversation, so you often end up with obscure threads bumped with comments such as "I don't know who this is" or "Did this ever happen" or sometimes just "Beer"

But how does he pick which threads to bump, often buried deep in the back-pages of the subforum? It's a complex ritual that is worth examining

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 8:19 pm
by The Argonaut
He does it on purpose. He likes to see his name hundreds of times. He just bumps random threads to say meaningless things most of the time. He likes to see

Bammer
Bammer
Bammer
Bammer
Bammer
Bammer
Bammer
Bammer

It's troubling!

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 8:23 pm
by Jorge
I'm not bothered by it. I like it. But I think it's time we gave it a name, and I like the name I came up with.

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 8:28 pm
by E.H. Ruddock
Great thread!

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 8:42 pm
by Bammer
I could share the answer but that would ruin all the fun

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sat March 25, 2023 9:03 pm
by tragabigzanda
Carl Sandburg wrote:There is a wolf in me . . . fangs pointed for tearing gashes . . . a red tongue for raw meat . . . and the hot lapping of blood—I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fox in me . . . a silver-gray fox . . . I sniff and guess . . . I pick things out of the wind and air . . . I nose in the dark night and take sleepers and eat them and hide the feathers . . . I circle and loop and double-cross.

There is a hog in me . . . a snout and a belly . . . a machinery for eating and grunting . . . a machinery for sleeping satisfied in the sun—I got this too from the wilderness and the wilderness will not let it go.

There is a fish in me . . . I know I came from salt-blue water-gates . . . I scurried with shoals of herring . . . I blew waterspouts with porpoises . . . before land was . . . before the water went down . . . before Noah . . . before the first chapter of Genesis.

There is a baboon in me . . . clambering-clawed . . . dog-faced . . . yawping a galoot's hunger . . . hairy under the armpits . . . here are the hawk-eyed hankering men . . . here are the blonde and blue-eyed women . . . here they hide curled asleep waiting . . . ready to snarl and kill . . . ready to sing and give milk . . . waiting—I keep the baboon because the wilderness says so.

There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes—And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.

O, I got a zoo, I got a menagerie, inside my ribs, under my bony head, under my red-valve heart—and I got something else: it is a man-child heart, a woman-child heart: it is a father and mother and lover: it came from God-Knows-Where: it is going to God-Knows-Where—For I am the keeper of the zoo: I say yes and no: I sing and kill and work: I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness.

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sun March 26, 2023 12:27 am
by spike
Isn’t there an unanswered posts feature he could be leveraging?

Or maybe just a good ol’ vanity search once he’s a few bourbons deep.

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sun March 26, 2023 1:00 am
by 96583UP
the answer might surprise you

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sun March 26, 2023 4:47 am
by Bammer
Jorge wrote:I'm not bothered by it. I like it. But I think it's time we gave it a name, and I like the name I came up with.
Ouch nobody else acknowledged the thread title so you had to do it yourself

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sun March 26, 2023 5:21 am
by Jorge
Wasn't really waiting for acknowledgment. I am proudly my own biggest fan

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Sun March 26, 2023 5:23 am
by knee tunes
toot toot

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Thu April 27, 2023 9:12 pm
by Bammer
Speaking of tooting oneself, I co-hosted a Webinar on Zoom earlier today.

Email follow up from the co-host: “Thanks for your help today, Bammer. I’m always impressed by your public speaking ability.”

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Thu April 27, 2023 9:12 pm
by Jorge
He called you Bammer?!

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Thu April 27, 2023 9:14 pm
by Bammer
Jorge wrote:He called you Bammer?!
Very cool of you to assume it’s a He.

Re: Bammer's nocturnal emissions

Posted: Thu April 27, 2023 9:16 pm
by Jorge
They called you Bammer?!