Red Mosquito

And how would you handle it?

I'm sitting in my car outside of the house I'm currently painting. It's about a 45 minute drive from home and 10 minutes from the closest store where I could buy pants. Luckily nobody is home, so I would probably go inside, clean up as much as i could and then drive to the store and buy some pants.

I'd probably go to Walmart so that my shit stained pants wouldn't be out of place and I would lay a dropsheet on my car seat to avoid staining it (assuming I reacted quickly enough initially to keep shit off of it in the first place)

I would go home afterwards, not back to work.

Threat level: Moderate to mild.

It would be pretty bad. In the lobby of the place where this cheer competetion is. About 1000 people out here.

I guess I’d slink to the nearest restroom and clean up as best I could then just go to the car and wait for them to come out so we could leave.

i am resting in my bed after a long morning of laundry, dishes, exercise, and indian food

if i shat right now it would be semi-explosive, for sure, given the indian food content

i had heavy doses of spinach-oriented dishes, as well as chickpeas

the fiber content would almost certainly ensure particle debris

the spice content might generate an un-removable aroma

gonna say 70% chance might ruin my bed

about 3 years ago we were driving back and forth from Seattle to LA a few times..we had the dog with us and we would make a 5 or 6 day trip out of it..venturing off the road to see things and stay in a quaint hotel and whatnot..we were driving down the I-5 somewhere in middle of Oregon and my stomach started to grumble in a bad way..the nearest exit was about 25 miles away and I was hurting..we pulled off to hit the Burger King but a lot of 18 wheelers were in line as well to get to their gas stations and It took about 5 minutes to make a right turn and I thought I was going to shit my pants..we made to the parking lot of Burger King to use the bathroom and I took one step out of the car and it happened..I filled my drawers and walked into Burger King like a bow legged cowboy hoping that the bathroom was vacant..thank god it was. I cleaned myself up and put my underwear at the bottom of that big stainless steel trash can and got in the car and kept on driving.

lol amazing doug

i was traveling through Adirondack state park once, solo

i was sick and heavily medicated

i stopped at a gas station, which was basically a log cabin in the woods. i had to shit super bad and could not hold it in, it was one of those things where you are sick and you body just can't control it. i managed to race into the bathroom just in time and dropped a massive diarrhea. but a little got on my boxers and i had to toss them out. there was a hand dryer blower on the wall that hovered real close to your head as you sat on the toilet. when i finished, while still sitting on the toilet with my pants around my ankles, i i bent over then lifted my head and smashed the back of my head on the hand dryer so bad my vision went out for a second. it hurt like absolute hell. i managed to keep conscious but i was seeing spots. it subsided eventually and while very lightheaded and in massive pain thought to myself 'holy shit, i almost died/passed out in a remote appalachian log cabin bathroom, and they would find me next to a bowl of diarrhea, with my pants around my ankles, boxers in the trashcan, and a hole in the back of my head'

thank god i survived

doug rr wrote:about 3 years ago we were driving back and forth from Seattle to LA a few times..we had the dog with us and we would make a 5 or 6 day trip out of it..venturing off the road to see things and stay in a quaint hotel and whatnot..we were driving down the I-5 somewhere in middle of Oregon and my stomach started to grumble in a bad way..the nearest exit was about 25 miles away and I was hurting..we pulled off to hit the Burger King but a lot of 18 wheelers were in line as well to get to their gas stations and It took about 5 minutes to make a right turn and I thought I was going to shit my pants..we made to the parking lot of Burger King to use the bathroom and I took one step out of the car and it happened..I filled my drawers and walked into Burger King like a bow legged cowboy hoping that the bathroom was vacant..thank god it was. I cleaned myself up and put my underwear at the bottom of that big stainless steel trash can and got in the car and kept on driving.

Pro move

96583UP wrote:lol amazing doug

i was traveling through Adirondack state park once, solo

i was sick and heavily medicated

i stopped at a gas station, which was basically a log cabin in the woods. i had to shit super bad and could not hold it in, it was one of those things where you are sick and you body just can't control it. i managed to race into the bathroom just in time and dropped a massive diarrhea. but a little got on my boxers and i had to toss them out. there was a hand dryer blower on the wall that hovered real close to your head as you sat on the toilet. when i finished, while still sitting on the toilet with my pants around my ankles, i i bent over then lifted my head and smashed the back of my head on the hand dryer so bad my vision went out for a second. it hurt like absolute hell. i managed to keep conscious but i was seeing spots. it subsided eventually and while very lightheaded and in massive pain thought to myself 'holy shit, i almost died/passed out in a remote appalachian log cabin bathroom, and they would find me next to a bowl of diarrhea, with my pants around my ankles, boxers in the trashcan, and a hole in the back of my head'

thank god i survived

Then got back behind the wheel, still heavily medicated and with a fresh concussion.

wease wrote:

doug rr wrote:about 3 years ago we were driving back and forth from Seattle to LA a few times..we had the dog with us and we would make a 5 or 6 day trip out of it..venturing off the road to see things and stay in a quaint hotel and whatnot..we were driving down the I-5 somewhere in middle of Oregon and my stomach started to grumble in a bad way..the nearest exit was about 25 miles away and I was hurting..we pulled off to hit the Burger King but a lot of 18 wheelers were in line as well to get to their gas stations and It took about 5 minutes to make a right turn and I thought I was going to shit my pants..we made to the parking lot of Burger King to use the bathroom and I took one step out of the car and it happened..I filled my drawers and walked into Burger King like a bow legged cowboy hoping that the bathroom was vacant..thank god it was. I cleaned myself up and put my underwear at the bottom of that big stainless steel trash can and got in the car and kept on driving.

Pro move

Shitting yourself is not a pro move wease

spike wrote:

wease wrote:

doug rr wrote:about 3 years ago we were driving back and forth from Seattle to LA a few times..we had the dog with us and we would make a 5 or 6 day trip out of it..venturing off the road to see things and stay in a quaint hotel and whatnot..we were driving down the I-5 somewhere in middle of Oregon and my stomach started to grumble in a bad way..the nearest exit was about 25 miles away and I was hurting..we pulled off to hit the Burger King but a lot of 18 wheelers were in line as well to get to their gas stations and It took about 5 minutes to make a right turn and I thought I was going to shit my pants..we made to the parking lot of Burger King to use the bathroom and I took one step out of the car and it happened..I filled my drawers and walked into Burger King like a bow legged cowboy hoping that the bathroom was vacant..thank god it was. I cleaned myself up and put my underwear at the bottom of that big stainless steel trash can and got in the car and kept on driving.

Pro move

Shitting yourself is not a pro move wease

He meant probiotic move

Movement was involved.

I feel any adult pants shitting needs to be immediately followed by questioning a lot of life choices.

A year or so ago I was on a work trip and had been pretty backed up, so I decided to pick up some laxatives. Later in the day I was in the hotel lobby working, and had more so of a fart feeling. There was nobody remotely near me so thought I'd try to let a little one slip. Naturally, I feel the poo instead and race to the closest bathroom. Wasn't a full on pooing, but I mos def threw them boxer briefs in the bathroom trash.

I hope they weren’t your lucky undies.

spike wrote:I hope they weren’t your lucky undies.

I was saving those for my Hinge hookup that night

as we get older, sometimes our sphincter not as strong as it used to be, and our digestive systems not as reliable as they used to be, and we might drink more coffee than we should, and we might have more shart surprises

I’m home. It’d be fine. In fact, I wouldn’t even be the first in the house to do it today.

96583UP wrote:shart surprises

I call dibs on this band name.

daft twat wrote:I’m home. It’d be fine. In fact, I wouldn’t even be the first in the house to do it today.

My b