Bart of Darkness vs. The Cartridge Family

Post by **stip** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:01 pm

Bart of Darkness

A heatwave in Springfield leads Bart and Lisa to persuade Homer into getting a swimming pool. To avoid months of persistence, he gives in instantly. Word soon spreads that the Simpsons have a pool and every child in the town comes to use the new facility. After being dared, Bart attempts an ambitious dive into the pool from the top of his treehouse, but gets distracted by Nelson, and falls and breaks his leg. This forces him to spend the rest of the summer wearing a cast and, unable to socialize with the other children, he retreats to his bedroom. His isolation slowly makes him more and more irritable and paranoid. Lisa loans Bart her telescope to entertain him. Soon, Bart hears a woman's scream next door, and witnesses Ned Flanders burying something in his backyard and screaming "I'm a murderer!" He becomes convinced that Ned has murdered his wife Maude, and vows to reveal the truth.

Meanwhile, Lisa basks in the glow of her new popularity. However, Martin Prince gets a larger pool, and everyone abandons Lisa, leaving her inside the empty pool with no idea of how to get out. After Lisa apologizes to her brother for neglecting him, Bart asks Lisa to go and look for evidence of the murder while Ned is out of the house. When Ned returns early, Lisa becomes trapped in the Flanders house, eventually being cornered in the attic; Bart painfully makes his way over there by himself, just in time to discover that Ned was actually storing an axe and not using it to threaten Lisa. Maude, as it turns out, is actually alive, and had gone to Bible Camp for the weekend, to learn to be more judgemental. The victim of Ned's "murder" was merely her favorite plant, and the woman screaming actually came from Ned himself. Meanwhile, Martin's swimming pool explodes after being full with too many kids, and everyone abandons him, although Nelson steals his bathing suit first. When the episode ends, Martin sadly sings "Summer Wind" to himself as he stands naked in the wreckage of his pool.

The Cartridge Family

The Simpsons attend a soccer match between Mexico and Portugal. When the game starts, the crowd begins to lose interest and, under Groundskeeper Willie's direction, it turns into a violent football riot. After the riot spreads throughout the town, Marge fears for the family and tells Homer to pay for a Home Security System. Finding out that the system will cost $500, Homer decides to save money by buying a firearm instead. After the five-day waiting period, Homer surprises Marge with his new revolver from a local gun store, Bedlam Bloodbath & Beyond (a play on the store named Bed Bath & Beyond). Marge is horrified and demands that he get rid of the gun at once. Homer persuades Marge to come with him to the local National Rifle Association meeting to try to get her to change her mind, but after the meeting, she remains unconvinced.

Homer starts to treat the gun as though it were a toy, casually carrying it into the Kwik-E-Mart and frightening Apu into thinking he will rob the store, firing bullets to retrieve items from the roof and shooting dinner plates as if they were clay pigeons. Finally, after a near-fatal accident at the dinner table, Marge reveals just how uncomfortable with the gun she is, and begs Homer to get rid of it. Homer promises to do so, but hides it, loaded, in the vegetable crisper instead. Later, Bart and Milhouse discover the loaded firearm and play with it in the kitchen. Marge steps into the kitchen just in time to stop them, and berates Homer for breaking his promise, by giving Homer an ultimatum.

After this, she promptly leaves with some suitcases and the children in tow and checks into "Sleep-Eazy Motel" on Selma's recommendation. That night, Homer hosts an NRA meeting at his house but the other members are far from impressed by his reckless gun usage and he is kicked out of the association, therefore and his own house. Realizing what his behavior has cost him, Homer goes to the motel where Marge and the children are spending the night, meaning to reconcile.

Homer and Marge make up, after Homer explains he has finally gotten rid of the gun. While leaving, Snake arrives to rob the desk clerk, demanding the cash register's contents while holding a knife to Mayor Quimby's throat. Homer pulls out his gun, foils the robbery and stops Snake from decapitating Quimby. Marge is angry with Homer for lying again, but while he tries to apologize, Snake snatches the gun, even though Homer reveals the gun is not loaded, but Snake tricks Homer into handing over the bullets anyway. Some of the other NRA members arrive and stop Snake from shooting the Simpsons, but he runs off with the money all the same. Homer finally says he does not trust himself and asks Marge to throw the gun away herself, because he feels sure that his attachment to it will just make him lie to her repeatedly. However, just as Marge is about to throw away the gun, she sees a reflection of herself holding it in the bin lid and likes what she sees in her reflection and decides to keep it.[1]

LoathedVermin72 · Post by **LoathedVermin72** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:02 pm

Oof, these are both great episodes. Cartridge by a hair.

Post by **stip** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:05 pm

cartridge family is a great episode, and would have gotten my vote in many of these matchups. But Bart of Darkness is amazing

Lisa: As you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal would result in months and months of...
Lisa, Bart: CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad?
Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Homer: All right, everybody in the pool!
Amish Farmer: 'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English
Homer: D'oh-eth!

Marge: I wish you'd stop spreading bad rumors about people! Remember when you got Grampa tarred and feathered?
Bart: Sure. That was 20 minutes ago.
Grampa: Gonna be in the tub for a while...

Chief Wiggum: Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Oh, come on! Continue! Come on! Aw... all right, Lou, open fire.

although...

Homer: It's a handgun! Isn't it great? This is the trigger, and this is the thing you point at whatever you want to die.

Moe: And that's how, with a few minor adjustments, you can turn a regular gun into five guns.

Homer: But I have to have a gun. It's in the Constitution.
Lisa: Dad, the 2nd Amendment is just a remnant from revolutionary days. It has no meaning today.
Homer: You couldn't be more wrong Lisa. If I didn't have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here any time he wants and start shoving you around. Do you want that? Huh? Do ya!?

Homer: I'm sorry I lied to you Marge, but this gun had a hold on me. I felt this incredible surge of power, like God must feel when he's holding a gun.

Salesman: But surely you can't put a price on your family's lives!
Homer: I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are.

Post by **stip** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:06 pm

I may change my vote. I quote Cartridge family more. 'I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are' gets a LOT of use

LoathedVermin72 · Post by **LoathedVermin72** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:06 pm

These quotes are way too long, stip.

LoathedVermin72 · Post by **LoathedVermin72** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:07 pm

Anyway, Cartridge has so many great little gags. Lonely Homer shooting out all the lights before bed is classic.

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:07 pm

Two solid episodes, but I think I have to go with Bart of Darkness.

Post by **stip** » Sat May 28, 2016 8:09 pm

LoathedVermin72 wrote:These quotes are way too long, stip.

I'm just cutting and pasting them from the internet. Take it up with them

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Sat May 28, 2016 9:48 pm

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Sat May 28, 2016 9:59 pm

This really shouldn't be a first round matchup.

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Sat May 28, 2016 10:01 pm

Simple Torture · Post by **Simple Torture** » Sat May 28, 2016 10:13 pm

I love Bart of Darkness, not a huge fan of Cartridge.

tragabigzanda · Post by **tragabigzanda** » Sun May 29, 2016 12:28 am

Bart of Darkness is an easy pick for me.

Post by **Jorge** » Tue May 31, 2016 5:59 pm

Ariaga! Ariaga II! Bariaga!

Chris_H_2 · Post by **Chris_H_2** » Tue May 31, 2016 8:06 pm

Bart of Darkness is one of my all-time favorites.

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Wed June 01, 2016 4:53 am

Norah · Post by **Norah** » Wed June 01, 2016 4:53 am

It's definitely Bart of Darkness.

Red Mosquito