Homer the Heretic vs. My Sister My Sitter

[stip]

Homer the Heretic

On a freezing Sunday morning, Marge gathers the family to go to church. Homer refuses to go, much to her annoyance and dismay, after he sees the weather outside and accidentally tears his church trousers. Staying behind, he sleeps in late, dances in his underwear (à la Tom Cruise in the film Risky Business),[2] makes his special waffle recipe, wins a radio trivia contest, watches an action-packed football game, and finds a penny. Homer attributes his good fortune to skipping church and declares it the best day of his life. Meanwhile, Marge and the kids shiver their way through a rambling sermon, only to find themselves trapped at the end since the door has frozen shut. The congregation is forced to stay longer while Groundskeeper Willie defrosts the doors, and then Marge is unable to start her car because of the cold.

When she and the children finally get home, Marge is horrified to hear that Homer intends to never go to church again. She tries to persuade him otherwise, but to no avail. That night, Marge prays for her husband at their bedside. Homer tries to seduce her while she is doing so, but then falls asleep suddenly and has a dream in which God personally appears to him. God is furious with Homer for forsaking his church. Homer answers that "I'm not a bad guy, I work hard, and I love my kids... so why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?" God agrees to let Homer worship in his own way. Homer starts following his own religion tailored to his personal tastes, including holidays he invents to get out of work.

Marge, Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders attempt without success to bring Homer back to the congregation. One Sunday morning, while everybody else is at church, Homer falls asleep on the couch smoking a cigar, which ignites some magazines and ultimately sets the whole house ablaze. Homer wakes up but quickly succumbs to the thick smoke and faints. Apu, chief of Springfield's volunteer fire department, rushes to the Simpson house with other firefighters including Krusty the Clown, Chief Wiggum, and Barney Gumble. Meanwhile, Flanders runs into the burning house to rescue Homer and pulls him out just as the firefighters arrive. After the fire is out, Homer declares that God was delivering vengeance. Reverend Lovejoy counters that God was working through the hearts of Homer's friends, despite their different faiths. Homer agrees to give church another try and the next Sunday is there, albeit snoring loudly through the service. Appearing in his dreams again, God consoles Homer on the failure of his religion. He starts to tell Homer the meaning of life, but is cut off by the ending credits

My Sister My Sitter

Inspired by "The Babysitter Twins" books, Lisa decides to become a babysitter. However, because of her age, no one takes her seriously. One day, Ned mentions that Maude has been taken hostage in Lebanon and he must leave to get her released, and he agrees to let Lisa babysit Rod and Todd. After a relatively uneventful night, Ned puts out the good word for Lisa, who experiences a business boom.

Meanwhile, the Springfield Squidport reopens and throws a gala. Marge and Homer decide to go and they leave Lisa to babysit Bart and Maggie. Bart is offended by the fact that his younger sister is going to be babysitting him. To complicate things further, Bart torments her by, among other things, ordering an oversized sub, hiring Krusty for a bachelor party, dialing 9-1-1 for a "sisterectomy", and having Maggie eat coffee ice cream for dinner. Eventually, Lisa angrily attempts to jump at Bart, but misses, causing him to fall backwards down the stairs, dislocating his arm and getting a large bump on his head. Bart then realizes that if Lisa does not take him to a hospital, she will not be able to babysit anymore. To make his condition worse, Bart locks himself in his room and hits his head on the door "to make the lump bigger", then falls unconscious.

Lisa tries to call for an ambulance, but the 9-1-1 operator refuses to assist her due to Bart's earlier prank call. Lisa considers asking Dr. Hibbert, but thinks better of it when she realizes that her reputation as a good babysitter will be ruined. Ultimately, she takes the unconscious Bart to Dr. Nick Riviera's clinic in a wheelbarrow, bringing Maggie along in a pet carrier. There is a long line in the waiting room, and Lisa fails to get an appointment. She then tries to wheel Bart to the hospital, but en route, Bart rolls down a cliff and into a muddy river right in front of the crowded Squidport. Everyone assumes that Lisa is on drugs, and that she has murdered Bart and is about to drown the caged Maggie. The scene then fades to the following day, when Bart, whose injuries have been treated, apologizes to Lisa for causing her trouble. She forgives him, but is still distraught that her reputation as a babysitter is now ruined. However, she soon receives babysitting requests from Dr. Hibbert and Ned due to their difficulty finding sitters, much to Lisa's delight.

[LoathedVermin72]

Homer the Heretic is a strong candidate to win this whole thing.